I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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