I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize