: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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