Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
