Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he thought i was a dude.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
