TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize