just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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