Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
