I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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