Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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