dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
