what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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