six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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