Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
