i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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