I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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