What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
