He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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