I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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