she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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