I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
