what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't think brook has ever known best
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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