she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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