On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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