i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
