I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
