and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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