3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
