I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
