drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
