Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
