About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
