my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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