I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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