I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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