Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
