he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
