apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
