So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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