sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize