This is not my ceiling
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize