Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
