But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
