Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
