I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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