What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need a beard to bite.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
