smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize