Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
