is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize