i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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