I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
