His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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