Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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