I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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