I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
