get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
