she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
